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My business card for the Moonlight & Magnolias conference this weekend (with address and phone number edited off, of course):
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sonja: Ahhhhhhhh!robbie: hehe :)
sonja: I'm surrounded by stupid people.
robbie: yeah, me too. why is everybody stupid except us? :)
sonja: We just rule.
robbie: yup
sonja: "Rule" is a very 90s word. I'm old.
robbie: haha
Stolen from Emily's site, with no hesitation and/or guilt. (I know this is my THIRD freakin post today, but deal, ok?)
MEME from Perverted Republican's site:
1. Do you try to look hot when you go to the grocery store just in case someone recognizes you from your blog?
No, but I must admit to trying to look hot when I go to the grocery store in case I see someone from my past. Most especially, I'd hate to see an ex-boyfriend or really anyone from high school in my usual grocery store post-gym red-faced sweat-soaked state. Sigh. I suppose it's inevitable now.
2. Are the photos you post Photoshopped or otherwise altered?
I always erase zits using iPhoto. :-) Other than that, they're usually not altered. Hey, no one wants to see my zits anyway.
3. Do you like it when creeps or dorks email you?
They never do. But it might make me feel special for about, like, a minute before I hit Delete.
4. Do you lie in your blog?
Only if heavy sarcasm counts as lying... which it might if you didn't know I was being heavily sarcastic... which you might not if you couldn't hear my tone of voice or see my sneer of disapproval. So maybe yes.
5. Are you passive-aggressive in your blog?
If you mean do I do things like make lists of the Top 10 Ways Husbands Piss Off Wives but then say, "Oh NO honey, of COURSE it wasn't directed at you," then... um... noooooo of COURSE not. (Did you detect the heavy sarcasm or are you just going to call me a liar?)
6. Do you ever threaten to quit writing so people will tell you not to stop?
No but I disappeared for about a month and a half once without explanation. Like one person noticed I was gone. So I don't do that anymore. If I ever quit writing, I'll just dissipate silently like a fart in the wind.
7. Are you in therapy? If not, should you be? If so, is it helping?
I'll answer "yes" to one of the above questions. You decide which one.
8. Do you delete mean comments? Do you delete fake nice ones?
No one leaves me mean ones. But I'd probably leave them. Because usually they're funny. I definitely don't delete fake nice ones. Pretty much I'll take all the comments I get, whether mean, nice, or fake nice.
9. Have you ever rubbed one out while reading a blog? How about after?
Um. I don't think so? I don't smoke.
10. If your readers knew you in person, would they like you more or like you less?
Um. Less. I'm not nearly as full of brilliant witticisms in real life. Harhar. (Again with the sarcasm. If you like sarcasm, maybe you'd like me MORE in person because you'd get the snotty tone and sneer along with it.)
11. Do you have a job?
Yes. What a boring question.
12. If someone offered you a decent salary to blog full-time without restrictions, would you do it?
Yeah dude. Yeah. And I'd buy the "I'm blogging this" shirt. And write it off as a work-related expense.
13. Which blogger do you want to meet in real life?
Ooh, there are so many, I just can't pick one. I know, that's a copout, but it's true. I lurve you allllllll. (That was NOT sarcasm.)
14. Which bloggers have you made out with?
Ahemahemahem. This one and that one. Um, and that one. But in my defense, I was in relationships with them at the time. (Not all at once.) Also in my defense, all of my exes but two have weblogs, so this looks like a lot, but it's almost a complete list of which-people-I've-made-out-with. So there.
15. Do you usually act like you have more money or less money than you really have?
Haha probably less. I'm one of those annoying I'm-so-poor whiners when really we just bought a brand new HDTV and we own a house. But I try not to talk about money TOO much so I hope people don't notice.
16. Does your family read your blog?
Yes. And, by the way, Mom, I was being... um... sarcastic about all those people I made out with. Yeah.
17. How old is your blog?
This one's not that old but I've been blogging since December 23, 2000. Almost five years. God, I'm old.
18. Do you get more than 1000 page views per day? Do you care?
No, more like 50. And yer darn right I care. Give me visitors or give me death!
19. Do you have another secret blog in which you write about being depressed, slutty, or a liar?
No, but I'm secretly all of those things. :-D
20. Have you ever given another blogger money for his/her writing?
Hm. No. But when people start giving ME money for MY writing, maybe I'll consider it.
21. Do you report the money you earn from your blog on your taxes?
Money? What money? Again I say that when people start giving it to me, maybe I'll report it.
22. Is blogging narcissistic?
Yes, no question. Fortunately, it's also way fun, so it ends up being ok in the long run. Right? RIGHT?
23. Do you feel guilty when you don't post for a long time?
Yes. But guilt drives pretty much every aspect of my being, so it's nothing new.
24. Do you like John Mayer?
Yes I lurve him. I want him to come siiiiinnnngggg to me. Preferably about my body being a theme park... wait, that's not right.
25. Do you have enemies?
Um, probably. But they don't leave mean comments on my blog, so I'm alright with it.
26. Are you lonely?
Sometimes. But then I remember that people are kind of annoying and it cures me.
27. Why bother?
42
MEME from Perverted Republican's site:
1. Do you try to look hot when you go to the grocery store just in case someone recognizes you from your blog?
No, but I must admit to trying to look hot when I go to the grocery store in case I see someone from my past. Most especially, I'd hate to see an ex-boyfriend or really anyone from high school in my usual grocery store post-gym red-faced sweat-soaked state. Sigh. I suppose it's inevitable now.
2. Are the photos you post Photoshopped or otherwise altered?
I always erase zits using iPhoto. :-) Other than that, they're usually not altered. Hey, no one wants to see my zits anyway.
3. Do you like it when creeps or dorks email you?
They never do. But it might make me feel special for about, like, a minute before I hit Delete.
4. Do you lie in your blog?
Only if heavy sarcasm counts as lying... which it might if you didn't know I was being heavily sarcastic... which you might not if you couldn't hear my tone of voice or see my sneer of disapproval. So maybe yes.
5. Are you passive-aggressive in your blog?
If you mean do I do things like make lists of the Top 10 Ways Husbands Piss Off Wives but then say, "Oh NO honey, of COURSE it wasn't directed at you," then... um... noooooo of COURSE not. (Did you detect the heavy sarcasm or are you just going to call me a liar?)
6. Do you ever threaten to quit writing so people will tell you not to stop?
No but I disappeared for about a month and a half once without explanation. Like one person noticed I was gone. So I don't do that anymore. If I ever quit writing, I'll just dissipate silently like a fart in the wind.
7. Are you in therapy? If not, should you be? If so, is it helping?
I'll answer "yes" to one of the above questions. You decide which one.
8. Do you delete mean comments? Do you delete fake nice ones?
No one leaves me mean ones. But I'd probably leave them. Because usually they're funny. I definitely don't delete fake nice ones. Pretty much I'll take all the comments I get, whether mean, nice, or fake nice.
9. Have you ever rubbed one out while reading a blog? How about after?
Um. I don't think so? I don't smoke.
10. If your readers knew you in person, would they like you more or like you less?
Um. Less. I'm not nearly as full of brilliant witticisms in real life. Harhar. (Again with the sarcasm. If you like sarcasm, maybe you'd like me MORE in person because you'd get the snotty tone and sneer along with it.)
11. Do you have a job?
Yes. What a boring question.
12. If someone offered you a decent salary to blog full-time without restrictions, would you do it?
Yeah dude. Yeah. And I'd buy the "I'm blogging this" shirt. And write it off as a work-related expense.
13. Which blogger do you want to meet in real life?
Ooh, there are so many, I just can't pick one. I know, that's a copout, but it's true. I lurve you allllllll. (That was NOT sarcasm.)
14. Which bloggers have you made out with?
Ahemahemahem. This one and that one. Um, and that one. But in my defense, I was in relationships with them at the time. (Not all at once.) Also in my defense, all of my exes but two have weblogs, so this looks like a lot, but it's almost a complete list of which-people-I've-made-out-with. So there.
15. Do you usually act like you have more money or less money than you really have?
Haha probably less. I'm one of those annoying I'm-so-poor whiners when really we just bought a brand new HDTV and we own a house. But I try not to talk about money TOO much so I hope people don't notice.
16. Does your family read your blog?
Yes. And, by the way, Mom, I was being... um... sarcastic about all those people I made out with. Yeah.
17. How old is your blog?
This one's not that old but I've been blogging since December 23, 2000. Almost five years. God, I'm old.
18. Do you get more than 1000 page views per day? Do you care?
No, more like 50. And yer darn right I care. Give me visitors or give me death!
19. Do you have another secret blog in which you write about being depressed, slutty, or a liar?
No, but I'm secretly all of those things. :-D
20. Have you ever given another blogger money for his/her writing?
Hm. No. But when people start giving ME money for MY writing, maybe I'll consider it.
21. Do you report the money you earn from your blog on your taxes?
Money? What money? Again I say that when people start giving it to me, maybe I'll report it.
22. Is blogging narcissistic?
Yes, no question. Fortunately, it's also way fun, so it ends up being ok in the long run. Right? RIGHT?
23. Do you feel guilty when you don't post for a long time?
Yes. But guilt drives pretty much every aspect of my being, so it's nothing new.
24. Do you like John Mayer?
Yes I lurve him. I want him to come siiiiinnnngggg to me. Preferably about my body being a theme park... wait, that's not right.
25. Do you have enemies?
Um, probably. But they don't leave mean comments on my blog, so I'm alright with it.
26. Are you lonely?
Sometimes. But then I remember that people are kind of annoying and it cures me.
27. Why bother?
42
Is it spectacularly rude to think that this is kind of funny? In my defense, I didn't SAY it. :-)
And here's a joke I heard from Robbie's dad this weekend:
Did you hear what President Bush said when someone from the press asked him what he thought about Roe versus Wade? No? He said he doesn't care HOW people get out of New Orleans... row, wade, whatever.
And here's a joke I heard from Robbie's dad this weekend:
Did you hear what President Bush said when someone from the press asked him what he thought about Roe versus Wade? No? He said he doesn't care HOW people get out of New Orleans... row, wade, whatever.
Because I haven't done one in a while:
Sonja: Man, I tried this "body butter" stuff from The Body Shop because it was a free sample and it's icky. And now I feel all sticky and gross. (The check out girl put free samples in my bag and told me I had to try it because it "smells nummy.")
Skye: :) does it smell nummy?
Sonja: I guess so. But it feels like dog slobber.
Skye: that's gross :)
Sonja: Yeah
Skye: i really don't want to snuggle with you now
Sonja: Stupid checkout girl.
Sonja: Man, I tried this "body butter" stuff from The Body Shop because it was a free sample and it's icky. And now I feel all sticky and gross. (The check out girl put free samples in my bag and told me I had to try it because it "smells nummy.")
Skye: :) does it smell nummy?
Sonja: I guess so. But it feels like dog slobber.
Skye: that's gross :)
Sonja: Yeah
Skye: i really don't want to snuggle with you now
Sonja: Stupid checkout girl.
About
My name is Sonja Foust. I’m a romance author and internet dork. More?