Recipe: Strawberry Asscake

I don’t know how to make decent strawberry shortcake. However, my friends and I discovered the secret to disgusting strawberry shortcake over the weekend.

1. Get delicious local strawberries which are just now in season from the local farmer’s market.

2. Purchase some delectable shortcakes.

3. Get a wild hair and decide that the strawberry shortcake needs some kind of liquor. After a brief and somewhat incomplete Google search, decide on rum.

4. Pour rum on shortcake. The rum will immediately get sucked into the shortcake, making it look like that entire shot you just dumped in there is gone. Go ahead, add more.

5. Top with strawberries and whipped cream.

I don’t have the words to tell you how disgusting this concoction was… But I will try. You know that kick-in-the-face scrunchy sinus-clearing thing that happens when you get too much wasabi? It was like that, only more burny and less fun. And it also tasted gross. Rum? Good. Strawberries? Good. Shortcake? Good. But all together? Very, very bad. Be warned.

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  • That is too funny. I never would put rum in it in the first place. But hey, everyone has their little hangups.

    Strawberries plus whipped cream === very good.

    Leave off the shortcake and rum.

  • ACW

    Maybe you just left out the step of setting it on fire?
    Maybe not. I haven't had rum since an unfortunate college experience years ago… so the mere mention of it makes me gag. lol

  • Strawberry asscake? LMAO I wonder if another liquor would have worked…or a heavier cake. I love rumcake. There ought to be a way to mix liquor and ice cream/whipped cream to have it work. May have to experiment this weekend!

  • It probably should have been set on fire, just to prevent any of us from actually eating it.

  • See, rumcake is good, right? So we thought we were doing the right thing. Guess not. 🙂 Let me know if you make it work. Actually, let me know in any case. It'll be a good story even if it DOESN'T work. Haha.

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