This is my friend Brandon from the office. He is growing a foo, but I promise he is usually a handsome, wholesome-looking young man. Click the pic to donate to his Movember campaign.

1. To the Movember participants in the office: “You have a little something on your lip. What? That’s supposed to be there? It’s a moustache, you say? Right. Sure. Keep telling yourself that.” Know why? Because they all have full-on funky MOS now. Pictured right. (Blerg. But I am supportive. Kinda.)

2. In an ironic Alanis Morissette type way: “I’m sick but I’m pretty.” Because it’s not true. Well, maybe if I’m being ironic I can still say it. Especially if I’m being ironic in the way that Alanis Morissette means ironic, which is, ironically, incorrect. Um, point being that being sick and pretty at the same time is nearly impossible for me. Pictured left. Ha, just kidding. It’s my blog and I don’t have to post unflattering pictures of myself if I don’t want to. So there.
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I was going to do Weekend One-liners. But that was before my whole day became a Weekend One-liner. I spilled milk. And it’s worth crying over.

You see, it spilled in the trunk of my car. This has happened before, and while it’s annoying, it’s not a huge deal. I have a plastic liner, and paper towels are magical.

But this time, while I was cleaning it out (in the parking lot at work, which is totally sexy), I set my keys in the trunk while cleaning. I then ran out of paper towels. And I shut the trunk to go back inside and get more paper towels.

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