5 Things I Won’t Tweet

You all know I’m a huge Twitter nerd. I love the rapid-fire info stream and the conversations with friends near and far. And I’m not sure there’s anything more fun than the challenge of writing something entertaining, useful, or profound in 140 characters or less. But there are some things I won’t tweet about:

1. My weight. This one I learned the hard way. When a woman tweets about her weight in what she thinks is a funny and self-deprecating manner, she will not get funny replies. She will get replies like, “YOU ARE NOT FAT!” or worse, “Aw, sorry sweetie. Want to come work out with me?” Other self-deprecating humor does not cause such reactions, but for some reason, weight does, so I’m staying far away, even though I had a really good tweet on deck the other day about how fat I looked in the dress I was wearing.

2. Pictures of other people’s kids. This one is hard, especially if they are freaking adorable, but it’s a hard and fast rule and will not be broken.

3. Bad stuff about anyone. I mean, unless it’s about an anonymous waitress, bus driver, etc., who doesn’t know my name and never will. Got called in to my community college advisor’s office a couple of years ago because I tweeted that my instructor thought I was cheating when I turned in an assignment early (which was true). Yes, the instructor was a poo-head, and yes I was unjustly accused, but it was so totally not worth that embarrassing conversation with my advisor for a quick vent on Twitter.

4. Inspiring quotes. Gag.

5. TMI health info. Hey, I’m all for the occasional picture of a gross injury, or a funny tweet about your doctor’s office waiting room, but I don’t want to know about the fungus in your hoohah, k?

What about you? Do you have any Twitter rules?

  • I’m with you. That’s a downright good list. 🙂 Especially the part about not tweeting bad things. That’s how bridges get burned. 🙂

    • Yep, and it doesn’t matter if you THINK the person will never see it. If they have ANY real life connection to you, there’s a possibility that they will. Better safe than sorry!

  • Lillygayle

    My only twitter rule is that one day, I will figure out what the hell I’m doing and learn how to do more than just post in less than 40 characters. lol!

    • Silly Lilly, you do fine. 😉 Just have fun!

  • Ava Stone

    I think I’m usually pretty careful about what I tweet. But… I might have totally vented in your case. What happened when you got called in? YOU were in the right. I’m dying to know how that turned out. 🙂

    At one point I was very frustrated with a particular bank and while dealing with the very difficult employee I said “I just tweeted that {your bank} is dead to me.” I’m sure they didn’t care (they were difficult, after all). But it DID make me feel better. 🙂

    • Haha, Ava, it was not a good experience. My advisor told me that I had possibly violated the school’s code of conduct by saying something bad about an instructor publicly or some crap like that. And then he went and talked to my instructor about it and she got mad at me again. Oh my Lord, it was just terrible. After that semester, I didn’t go back to that particular school.

  • andrisbear

    Bahahaha! Too funny. Great post.

  • If a company does make you upset, you can at the company. A lot of times they’ll respond. or praise too. I’ve had a couple place write me back and either fix it or thank me.

    [that’s annoying, using the at symbol makes the comment want to fill in a name]

    And I’m with you on the kid thing. I have the same rule with my flickr account. There are like two pictures in my entire flickr pool of other peoples kids that aren’t from the back or something. Too many people get freaked out about their kids pictures showing up somewhere.


  • Katharine Ashe

    Love your list, Sonja! And quel total drag about your awful professor! (You cheating? I cannot see that at all.) I’ll admit I do occasionally repost inspiring quotations from LLCoolJ beacause, well… LLCoolJ. 😉

    My twitter rule of thumb in addition to your rules: I don’t RT any tweets at all from people who break your rules. 🙂