10 Things I’ve Learned from Ally McBeal

No one is wiser than David E. Kelley, I’m pretty sure. Also, no one’s skirts are shorter than Ally McBeal’s. Here are 10 lessons I’ve learned from the show:

  1. Any problem can be dealt with by walking slowly home from the office and playing a sad song (preferably sung by Vonda Shepard) in your head.
  2. Weird is ok.
  3. Don’t get too attached, because your favorite people will leave in creative ways (and only some of them because they got caught doing cocaine again and got fired off the show, ahem, Robert Downey, Jr.).
  4. If you say something you don’t want someone to hear, chances are it will get back to them, and quickly. (Always check the bathroom stalls.)
  5. Good hair earns you lots of points.
  6. If you don’t happen to have good hair, money works, too.
  7. Make your own kind of music– and then dance like no one’s watching. (Look at that: I can combine two awful cliches into a slightly less awful giant cliche.)
  8. Some things get better with time (Renee’s boobs). Some things don’t (Ally’s hair– sorry honey).
  9. If you find a nice man, check first to make sure that he’s not: married, the father of the other man you are dating, stupid, boring, a homeless man pretending to be a not-homeless man pretending to be a homeless man (get all that?), an obnoxious laugher, a sloppy eater, or a lawyer. Then you should be safe.
  10. Nothing is more important than the people you love, and who love you back.

Here’s what I did this week when I wasn’t watching TV.

What I Wrote

I wrapped a bottle in yarn. No, I don’t know why.

I made my own watered down glue. Aren’t you proud of me?

Whilst genuinely trying to cook myself a nice breakfast, I inadvertently discovered the first marginally edible sponge.

Day Job

Two audits of landing pages, buddy. We looked at Shutterfly and Dollar.

Other Crap

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