You’ve heard of Crossfit, right? It’s the new, weird fitness craze sweeping the nation. It involves “functional” fitness, so you’ll often see the athletes running with heavy things and jumping on wooden boxes. They also throw barbells around a lot, and they do it all for time—either completing as many rounds as possible in the allotted time, or completing all the rounds prescribed in the shortest amount of time possible.
So how can you tell if you’re talking to a Crossfitter? Here are 10 ways that are probably going to give them away…
1. They talk about “kipping” all the time. Kipping pull-ups. Kipping handstand push-ups… Kipping vacuuming.
2. They delight in platitudes like, “DO IT!” and, “Can’t stop, won’t stop!” and, “UP UP UP!”
3. If you hand one of them a small child to carry, there is a chance she will sling the child onto her shoulder and sprint 200 meters with the child. Do not panic—just give her her time when she makes it back to you.
4. Ask them what they do to cool down. Most will give you a perplexed expression. The honest ones will flop onto the floor on their backs and moan loudly. (That is the Crossfit cool down.)
5. Check their pantry. If it contains a bag of sweet potatoes and at least one can of coconut milk, chance of Crossfitting increases by 72.8%.
6. They’ll tell you all about the wonders of the paleo diet… while drinking a beer.
7. Neck circumference.
8. They use strange terminology like WOD and AMRAP and PR in normal conversation.
9. They will only date other Crossfitters.
10. If you’re still not sure if you’re talking to a Crossfitter, all you need to do is count backwards from 10, yell, “GO!” and watch them self destruct because they don’t know which heavy thing to pick up first.
Sonja Foust is a blogger, author and newb Crossfittter from Durham, North Carolina. You can check out her blog (which includes the occasional paleo recipe) at Pintester.com. Her home box (read: Crossfit gym) is Crossfit 919.