33 Things You’ll Know By The Time You’re 33

I’m 33 years old today, guys. I feel like I should do something to celebrate, but, um, I think I’m just going to, you know, go to work and stuff.

But, here’s a special post for you on the theme of my birthday, because it’s my blog, dammit.


33 Things You’ll Know By The Time You’re 33

  1. Sunscreen is infinitely less annoying than sunburns.
  2. No one else cares about the size of your thighs as much as you do.
  3. “Fake it ’til you make it” only gets you so far. Sometimes you have to stop, admit you don’t know what you’re doing, get help, then go for it.
  4. Learning to love yourself is more important than learning to love others. (And you can love others more deeply if you learn to love yourself.)
  5. Sometimes you change, and sometimes you just realize who you really are. The challenge is to be open to both.
  6. You will always love ice cream, but ice cream may not always love you.
  7. Kids are actually just short humans. You can talk to them as if they are such. (They kind of think you’re dumb when you use Kid Voice on them.)
  8. Eating at a restaurant alone is not the worst thing ever.
  9. The best part of being a grown-up is being able to say, “Hell no I’m not going to do that because I’m a grown-ass woman and I don’t have to.” Use sparingly for most satisfying results.
  10. No one cares about your diet. Nope. No one.
  11. A good bra that fits properly is the most important thing you’ll ever wear.
  12. Some days you’ll feel like you’re not a real adult. On those days, talk to a 20-year-old. You’ll feel better.
  13. Dry shampoo.
  14. Don’t waste good moods and sunny days.
  15. Shapewear. That’s how she’s doing that.
  16. Nobody is perfect, and nobody expects you to be perfect. In fact, people like imperfect people. (How many perfect people do you know and actually like? I admit to hating all the perfect people I know.)
  17. It’s ok to like things that are geeky, nerdy, dumb, or otherwise blasted. Like what you like.
  18. Car dancing is always acceptable.
  19. You can be a badass and a movie crier. They are not mutually exclusive.
  20. Comfortable shoes improve your mood faster than you ever would have thought possible.
  21. You will, at some point, throw your back out doing something really dumb, like brushing your teeth or picking up an empty bowl. Don’t worry. Everyone else has or will, too.
  22. Trying to stay young is dumb. (Remember the 20-year-old? Do you really want to be that?)
  23. The best things in life aren’t always free, but they’re usually not things.
  24. Drinking when you’re sad only leads to bad things.
  25. You don’t have to read depressing literature if you don’t feel like being depressed. Read a romance. You’ll like it.
  26. Sometimes allowing yourself to quit something rather than keeping at it is the harder choice, but the necessary one.
  27. It’s ok to pay someone to do some stuff for you. Your time is worth something.
  28. Never disturb a napping toddler.
  29. Eating popcorn and ice cream for supper once in a while won’t kill you.
  30. If you don’t look like hell when you’re done at the gym, you’ve wasted your time.
  31. Water cures almost everything: headaches, inflammation, hangovers, hunger, fatigue. Bonus: drinking lots of water means you get to take lots of bathroom breaks.
  32. You should fix the broken drawer pull or towel rack or wobbly table that you use every day. Small annoyances build up over time.
  33. Love isn’t really love until it’s demonstrated.
  • Merry

    #22 made me laugh. You ARE young… which is why you know what you’re supposed to do with the circle things below & I don’t.

  • I want to *Like* this. I don’t know how. Comment Like!

  • Newb

    #12 is my favorite. And also, “like what you like” is absolutely brilliant advice. As well as, let other people like what they like. This list rocks, Sonja. Happy birthday. 33 is the age I would go back to if I could pick any age. So rock the shit out of it!

  • Heather

    It’s my 32nd b-day today! Happy birthday!

  • Havana James

    This is perfect. I will be 33 this year and although last year was the worst year of my life ( for multiple reasons ), 32-33 feels like the best year so far because I have realized these 33 things.

  • Nadia

    Thanks made me smile on this very blue Monday

  • Sharra Bucher Goddard

    How very mature of you, Ms Foust. .. please don’t get mature on me!!! – sarcasmica.me

  • Lyn C.

    These are great, still relative at 38 years old! lol

  • Susan

    Happy Birthday Sonja! I wish you all the best 🙂