Vampires and Tantric Sex: How to Publish Your Book Like a Bona Fide Badass

Vampire-Cover-B-s-160x245On Sale: May 2013

Order eBook: Amazon

Vampires and Tantric Sex: How to Publish Your Book Like a Bona Fide Badass is a follow-up to our first book on writing, and will teach you how to publish the book that you brought into being… and why you should never, ever call your book your “baby.” Also it has vampires, because we wanted to cash in on that Edward/Buffy/Lincoln thing.

You’ll learn exactly how to proceed if you want to publish in print with a large traditional press, a small boutique press, or online on your own or with big, well-paying clients. We’ll explain the specific timelines for each kind of publishing, and we’ll help you figure out exactly what kind of publishing is the right fit for you.

You wrote a book! Well, Elvis Costello on a toasted English muffin, you are a certified Knee2Nuts writing badass! Welcome to the land of motherfucking heroes.

Let’s just stop and think about it for a minute…

You — who are only one person, really, not an army or a corporation or Isaac Asimov (bastard published 506 books, if you can believe that) or a superhero (see Isaac Asimov, previous) — wrote a book!

That’s damned amazing, and if you don’t think so, you should probably go run a double-marathon or find a cure for Lupus or whatever it is that super- heroes do in their spare time. Writing a book is hard. So give yourself some mad props for doing it. Go ahead. Take whatever time you need, you badass, you.

All done with your victory lap? Great.

Because now you should know that although you’ve written a book, no one will give a rat’s cojones (or ovarios, if you are feeling left out) about your book unless it’s somehow published. Womp womp.

It’s ok, though, because this book is going to help you publish your book!

Even if you’re going to claim that you wrote your book because it was the book of your heart, and you don’t care if anyone ever reads it because you just had to write it, if only for yourself, I think you’re going to find something here you need, because you downloaded (or are peeking inside) a book about publishing your book, so you’re obviously at least a little curious about it. (Whew. Run-on sentence award.) And who doesn’t want people to read their book? Nobody we know. Of course, we don’t get out much, being writers. But we have lots of friends online, dammit.

Incidentally, if this is all premature enunciation for you and you haven’t written your book yet, skip down to the section called Three Things You Need to Know About Publishing Before Your Write Your Book.

Order eBook: Amazon