My toilet had been making the sorts of noises that I imagine an asthmatic drowning goat might make for months now. I finally convinced my husband to team up with me today to fix it, and, as a result, I present to you our highly informative and not at all silly guide to repairing a toilet. There’s too much awesome to fit in a text post, so it’s in video format. Enjoy.

If you’re like me, you’ve got a pretty firm handle on your household chores like laundry, dishes, and cooking, but the yard is a bit of a baffling thing. I mean, stuff can theoretically grow in the house, but I usually throw out the tupperware it’s in when that happens. So I’m not quite sure what to do with the stuff growing in the yard. But, I’m nothing if not innovative and persistent, so here’s my guide to yard work:

1. Get your significant other/housemate/sister/ailing grandfather to do as much of it for you as possible. This sometimes may involve whining, begging, promising sexual favors, or nagging, depending on the person you’ve chosen to be your designated yard tamer. I’ve never had to go beyond opening the garage door and staring bemusedly at the weed-eater. However, if I have to go further in the future, my next step is opening the gas cans to determine their content by scent, or perhaps shaking them like a mysterious Christmas gift and insisting I can tell which one is which by the swishing noise.

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Generally, when your husband says, “Can you cook tonight?” and you have had the week from hell and not been home once before 7 pm in like 10 days and you are so tired you could weep, you are allowed to say, “Unequivocally, hellz no.” However, on the off chance that you are feeling magnanimous and/or guilty, and you do decide to cook, here are some guidelines to keep in mind:

1. Make a list before you go to the grocery store. Assume nothing. I guarantee that if you think you have eggs or butter or cheese, you don’t. Just buy it. (Of course, that’s how I ended up with 8 bottles of soy sauce in my fridge, but it’s saved me 7 trips to the grocery store, so it evens out, right?)

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